Tish tash tosh

Fog that surrounded Middlesbrough.

A picture for my new topic in Art called: human.

Currently exploring communication, probably move on next week to inhumane ways.

My birthday: Colin the Caterpillar cake= winner.

Another thing for my project on communication. A scanned in a drawing, i then inversed and put special effects on.
From my last project in fashion/textiles. It doesn't actually get dark at the bottom.
It's just my bad documentation skills.



The eyes and the mouth are key aspects in judging someones mood and for what to look at or listen to when face to face in order to fully understand what the person is saying.


Or at least i think so.


Martina I'm sorry I'm missing thanksgiving :( me and Ryan promise to fulfill our consolation of cooking you a meal at your house one day!!!

Miss you, obviously.


Inabit. x

Textile final peice.

It's based on ivy and man (though admittedly it doesnt look much like ivy) both striving forth to survival without looking around to see what they are doing to what they need to survive and the destruction they cause.

It shows this by not allowing the wearer to see sideways, like wearing blinkers.

Made from see through fabric with a cut in ivy patter aswell as died with inks, tissue paper treated in a similar manner but also with bleach. A silk fabric whcih had wax dripped on in an ivy pattern and all put together to create this head peice that is fragile yet very hard to take off.

Showing the fragility between us and the unknown truth and yet that to see this and to be fully aware it recquires effort and understanding.

Anywho, I turn 20 tomorrow! I'm getting an eisel!!!!!! Very exciting. x

Man is enthusiastic, but he is weak.

A line from my book. The book pictured below infact. Yet another art project, this took more time than most and the outcome is less dramatic but i really like it and enjoy reading it.

This is my other experiment. The brief was "Transform a book into a peice of visual art" I managed a warped, freaky face. In its giant eye it says "face of a killer"... definite room for improvement.

Photo on the way to Darlington to see Skull Sex Scandals and The Sex Generals. Frenchies birthday, it was fantastic.

The mooon!! Same night as the photo above. Need to photoshop the blue it out.

Same night again but closer to home. The road I go down almost every day to either college or Ryans house.

Went to Newcastle this weekend and guess what!!..I LOVE MARTINA :D I'm always much happier after being in her company so thank you thank you thank you Dietrich. And of course Toff.

Tin and Toff, it was lovely!

How could I forget Curtis too :)

Beautiful time.

Thank you x

Out and about

Note the lamp-post buried into the front of the car. The people in it bailed, so it was probably a stolen car. Got a photo of the police interviewing a few people but one shot is very blurred and the other only has their heads as it was taken from in Ryans car at a strange angle.

Geese migrating. Carl, Ryan and me went to somewhere to look at big rocks and loads of these guys joined us.

Ryan helping me get some good shots at Belsay Hall

Me at Belsay Hall, curtesy of Ryan.
Barbies hanging out at Mitzys after their traumatic ordeal being hung in trees and being put in the chinchilla cage.

CCAD

This was my final peice after having 2 weeks to think and produce something with our starting point being "repetition". I had just come back from Norway so didn't have a personal routine to analyse so instead went with something we as humans do repeatedly which i strongly disagree with: abuse the earth. I made a fairytale theory of "bury plastic mindlessly and mindless plastic will grow on trees: and that's not very yummy, no matter what the government tells you." Thanks to Lube and Bono trekking into the woods with me and my bagful of barbies.Some other shots of barbie, i couldn't find a place for the posing headless one so putting it on here seemed the next best thing.


Belsay Hall. Visit it. It's ridiculously beautiful.



Into our 5th week of CCAD now. The first week was getting comfortable. The Second and Third were Expressionism with repetition. The Fourth and now Fifth are graphics with superstition... a final peice is yet to be made... my computor seems to be quite anti photoshop though... doesnt like all this merging layers and complicating curve things... it is third hand though.

I miss Martina Bono Aiko Dietrich.

I am stressing too much.

And I'm going to Manchester this weekend.

It isn't an art focused excursion but inspiration is everywhere and anywhere.

xx

17

17 days left till I'm homeward bound.
I've adjusted into their way of life and found myself some healthy herbal tea.
I have also been to Oslo to visit my grandparents which was actually really great.
They are very easy to be around and they were very considerate of me and Bestefar (,grandad) did everything for me! I didn't put a single plate to the side!!
He was also very good at passing on his wisdom about Oslo, music and art.
Bestemor also told me many things including those topics above and I am very glad I now know what they told me! One topic about a 93 year old German lady who talks very quickly and has only recently discovered her love of art and mainly using watercolours mixed with montages she makes which are mostly quite politically based!

Anyway, I really am now comfortable where I am and I feel much better about myself and I have had a bit of a mental journey if anything.
I've learnt to speak up more about what is on my mind.
To really think about what I'm worrying about and whether it actually matters.
To give more time to my family, who I am so happy to be a part of.
Go for it with ideas and not be so shy about them, they usually turn out to be not so stupid or at least can easily become less silly with some outside input.
I am still quite shy about showing my art, especially in the rough stages but i am getting better and i think art college will help me with that.
To ask for help.
To say when something is wrong
That I have such a good future ahead and have the best person imaginable to share it with.

Anyway, the bottom is a picture of part of one of the berry fields from my bedroom window.

Argh! And i killed a caterpillar today!! :( :( It was really big aswell, twice aslong as my middle finger! I squashed it with the peace sign as I was grabbing one of the twigs to get a better angle into the berries and then this sort of soft thing squished imbetween my fingers and then flopped off ... i thought it was a rogue peice of fabric curled up at first .. but it wasn't *sigh* it didn't move again .. i kept going back to check and i feel so bad ... and then a spider jumped onto me so i felt better now that nature had had its revenge. twudda been a real big butterfly though... pale green with thin yellow lines that were similar to lines that go up a tree trunk with occassional small circles made with the lines. poor guy.


Looking forward to tomorrow.


The lighter green isn't the plant the jagged green on the left are the blackcurrent plants that are ready to be picked :)

Art times in Norvege.

Originally all my sketches had been pretty dark because i was pretty miserable and not really enjoying it fully and feeling pretty used. But! This weekend I just fucked off and did my own thing and rode around and down and up and down and up again a mountain and today I've done a finger painting which makes me feel really good when i look at it and i did whilst outside, really at ease and knowing i didnt have to do anything today at all except look after myself.. (despite the fact i have now cleaned the kitchen twice and done a fair few other chores but hey ho). Hopefully paint a proper composition by the end of next week. xx

awkward times

So today , because there is practically no work for them to give me I was sent for a walk with my bosses brother. I was quite looking forward to finally being shown some paths and where i could take my bike and things apart from... it wasn't a walk, there wasn't a path. It was a scramble to the top AND to top things off he wouldnt lead on most of the steap bits... he asked ME to lead!! I said I have no idea where we are going and have never been before and there is no path... he said we are going to the top. And when I turned around he was being a complete pervert :( and I did not enjoy this. He was also very slow and quite chubby so I had to keep stopping and waiting for him and on the flatter parts he would lead (slowly) and always manage to whack loads of branches in my face which were so easily avoidable!

Anyway, after a few hours we had lunch and then I said I'd like to go back incase there's any work to be done back at home. And he was sooo slow at walkig down hill, i tried to walk at the same pace as him but it literally hurt and was really boring so i just sped up and walked slow for myself and still had to stop loads of times for him. Anyway, got back and there is now a cow in one of our fields but no-one cares and I can't do anything about it on my own and I dont even know who owns the cows!!

At dinner we were talking about a Muslim friend of SaYings who has gone to Sweden to study and she was commenting on the fact that she hadnt heard from him for a while and the brother made some terribly racist joke about maybe him joining the taliban or something!! And then he ridiculed me when I told him about an article I read about a lot of white British becoming Muslims because they agreed with the morals. and that all extremists from any religion have different mindsets and being a Muslim is just like being a Christian in the sense of having a religion and set of morals to follow!!!

Urghhh and he is a sexist because he was not impressed when me and Saying talked about how it was bad the women are classed as much lower citizens than the men in the Muslim countries and societies.
I DO NOT LIKE THIS MAN
Also! Before we embarked on this walk together he said to me .. we will be needing some food for this and I though ooo ok I'll make a sandwhich before I put everthing away from breakfast ... I did, then realised he wasn't making a sandwhich so I asked him what was he going to eat and he GAVE ME HIS LOAF OF BREAD TO MAKE HIS SANDWHICHES FOR HIM WITHOUT A PLEASE OR A THANK YOU and his exact words were " You can cut this bread"!!!! And I KNOW his english is very good because we have been having conversationss!!!! He treats SaYing like that aswell!! But i think she is used to it from her husband so she thinks it is normal!!!

Saying also treats me a little like her maid, I haven't had one single "Please" aimed at me from anyone at all. And when i say thank you to her for dinner or anything she just says "yes" like I'm offending her for thanking her!
Am i!?!?!?!?!?!
Her English is better than the brothers too!!!
These people are not horrible people but they are not the most friendly and well minded. I do not feel at ease in their presence but now I have a bike I can leave but thing is, you're so exhausted after a day trying to figure out what you're meant to be doing and doing it that you just want to have a nice conversation or something easy... but it's not easy :( whinge page I'm afraid. love to yous x

Bugs v Rain

Thursday I got the day off to celebrate my cousin Ailas 14th birthday and it was so lovely! Bestefar og Bestemor were there along with Frode, Pia and Aila and then me :)
It was so lovely to be surrounded by people who knew me and knew how to be with me and knew I liked herbal tea and they have the actual leaves as aposed to the teabag which tastes so much nicer! Also I got to see what they were all upto and I could openly talk about what I plan to do with my art stuff and just have a really calm time with no stress of whether I should help with this.. is this insulting... should I get up too and help with making the coffee or whatever because with the family they know you're not being rude because you're not that type of person you just didnt realise that everyone else had already stood up or whatever! I hope you can decipher my words. It was a nice time surrounded by lovely people and I am happy they are all part of my family.

I hadn't slept at all well for a long time and I had been getting quite tense and emotional and i hadn't realised till I saw them and they all managed to put me down a gear and I had a great sleep on that Thursday and felt so much better. My gratitude towards them is huge.

On the Friday it was back to work in the fields and it rained tremendously. I loved it. Barely any bugs at all and I got to wear my big red wellies :D but I got back and I was soaked through all the way down through my overalls, clothes and onto my underwear! AND the bugs that do come out in the rain are moths!! Favourite insects :D and they were the dainty little white ones :)
On the wayback a nice, fat, bigger than my thumb wasp was hanging around on one of the gates I had to open but it tootled off.

ALSO on the way back from the field I had to walk through a cow field and it was really big and the path was narrow and it was quite scary because I could see some younger cows and usually if you go to close (which i had to to get anywhere) the bigger scarier cows would charge you and wind you by headbutting your belly (and one of them actually made the gesture of it quite close to me) and then they as a team would try and trample you to death... SO everytime they came closer to try and intimidate me away from the path i needed to go down i had to yell at them and one of my yells was a bit shaky and they picked up on it and walked closer :( but by then they were all behind me and i walked quickly to get under and past the electric fence. scary cows.

Anyway, tomorrow I will go to Bergen to see a few art galleries and go to this crazy antique shop which i will have to take a photo of because it's literally packed full of everything you can imagine including type writers, banjos, guitars, frames, cutlery, cameras, dolls, cups, teapots, brass teapots and the list goes on.

Dietrich I hope you make it to Ireland.. me you chris and ryan will all have to go together sometime as Ryan has a lot of family there too :) that could be interesting. xxxxxxxxx

Norge norge norge

I am in Norway, living and working on a farm..
I got told on Tuesday about the offer and I left my home on Thursday to then be back on the 3rd of September. Very srtressful, quite rushed and very overwhelming.
Glad I'm here!
First day my Uncle picked me up from the airport and fed me, took me fishing in a fjord which was very fun and then let me flick through all these really cool art books!
Next day met the family and had a BBQ, met lots of Arne Dales relatives (who is my boss).
Day after we went to a fjord to paddle in Gremvin and we had icecream and the little boys learnt their first English word "no" frm me dropping some icecream and saying "oh nooooo" to which they loved and decided to copy for a good 10 minutes... much to the their mothers dismay who is Thai and keeps giving me marriage advise!
She is lovely though and really looking after me.
Nextday I SWAM in the fjord and we went to a really cool art gallery owned by a man who owned that house and another house a few steps away and he was really tall with really long grey hair and his paintings were vey bold and dark and very cynical of human nature which i loved!
Next day was the first workday where I was using a curved sharp bit of metal on a stick to prune one of the fields full of to-be blackcurrents which will be ripe for the picking in 2 weeks.
By pruning I mean hacking at giant chunks of grass and really tall nettles (taller than mee!)very good. my hands ache a little.
anyway must help with dinner which is always nice.
Missing home lots but it is very beautiful here and i have things to do <3 x

Blabbathon

I went to wimbledon.
That's right, we won tickits at a tennis club my mum and dad go too.
So we joined all the tennis fanatics, the "classy" people, the wannabe "classy" people, the people who you realy want to stab because they are spoilt brats and talk in whiny voices and don't apologize when the practically walk into you. The type who flick their hair and laugh with perfect teeth whilst wearing labels and expensive perfume. The type who think that they are all the next big thing and that it would be your privalige to kiss the underbelly of their feet.
Fair to say... i almost commited murder... but all I was armed with was an M&S salad (kindly provided for me by the mama) and a bottle of water.
Do you know what all the posh twats ate???? GREASY PIZZA!!!
All this money and they spend it on a grease filled cardboard box! Fucking hell.

This world is too upside down.
The majority of our rich kids are assholes who expext everything to go there way... i wonder where they'll be once mummy and daddy die... probably married off to some rich guy... fucking hell.
I'll put some pictures on here once I've gotten over how ridiculous they were. toodles.

Rasta Courage - Soldiers of Jah Army

Try and remember now just what has been done

Enslavement, displacement of every nation

And now to one nation, everyone hold their grudge

Kind of makes me wonder where which side i'm on

I don't defend white, and i don't defend black

I defend truth and rights and all of that

work on situations where i'm at

Hold my position and never fall of track

Nah give up no faith!

.

Du babylon rage,

I and i a-striving til

The end of my days.

Rasta courage

Go against society,

Rasta courage

Babylon rage

I and I a-striving till

The end of my days

Rasta courage

Go against society

Rasta courage

.

I never give no good vibes

And i never give up no truth

Never trade my sanity for living in babylon crew

Vanity will never drive this man insane

This man will walk alongside jah again

We see all the pressure to conform today

And i may sometimes bend

But only as not to break

'Cause a life of iniquity for laziness' sake

Is a deal with the devil rasta just can't make.

.

Looking back now upon all of the evidence

400 years and what them years haveReally done,

We talk of peace but at the first sign of war.

Bredren aint bredren and sistren ain't sistren no more.

Without forgiveness how will any war cease,

While the heathen rage rastaman sitting at ease.

No one will move a muscle for some moral justice

and with no justice well there will be no peace.

London to Paris

I have come back from two weeks away.

One week in London, doing nothing in particular:

Went to the National Gallery, bought a beautiful book about a man who plants trees,

fell in love with sweet potatoes, went to a rock bar wearing leather with dark lipstick.

My boyfried drove us round France: Rouen, Paris and Calais.

Rouen is beautiful, quiet and very french.

Paris is beautiful, busy, touristful, musical and very french.

Calais is ugly, quiet and dodgy.

Every day in France we would have 3 different types of sweet

french bread from the Boulangerie, we had such a lovely routine.

We also grew even more certain of each other.

We grew used to each others constant company.

We are ourselves with each other.

It was such a beautiful trip in more ways than one.

Paid our respects to Jim Morrison at his grave.

Walked up the Eiffel Tower but refused to go to the top like the cattle.

Met Parisians galore at the river with our wine and Ryan on guitar.

Paid £12 for a wee.

Walked down the Champs Elysees.

Saw amazing things in the Louvre.

Photographed a crime scene in the metro station: blood everywhere.

Got stared at alot for being blonde.

Almost got kidnapped.

Crashed into a parked car but the lady didn't care.

Bought a tin whistle.

Made many sandwhiches.

Got mistaken for French people alot.

Had a bath.

Always had a mini balcony.

Fell in love with two cities and one man.

- Ped

Transformation

I used to be brunnette

but now i'm blondy ginger

I love it

I don't see why anyone could complain about being ginger

I actually really love it

Today i voted

I'm not telling you who for because it's confidential

I like moths better than butterflies

I love life and appreciate everyone and everything in it

I am paranoid and scared of being vulnerable when i sleep

I like to smoke a cigarette every now and then

I broke into an abandoned building and spray painted the walls

I did glass cutting

I have cancelled my university offer to do a foundation art course instead

I would love to live in London sometime.

I love to paint.

I wish i had the guts to try oils.

I am an acrylics fiend.

I love black biro drawings.

My phone broke today.

Mum was angry I couldn't contact her so I let her yell at me until she calmed down.

I bit my tongue.

This is me now.

Paint for me

Please paint me a pretty picture

Of Bumblebeas not in the trees

But floating face down in the seas

Of butterflies with blue tacked bellies

On my box for my brain.

Please paint me a pretty picture

Of spiders pinned and rats drowned.

It'll give me such a huge grin

That you'll forget how i frown

Please paint me a pretty picture

For me to hang on my teeth

For me to kick with my knee

Oh it'll give me such glee

Will that pretty picture for me!

- Ped.

Arty farty

1. my ugly chin and beautiful feather earring

2. a painting i've just started

3. What are you?

4. Loneliness creates an active mind

5. Freedom of the body

6. Technique practise

7. Stuff

8. All Soul

Some of the stuff i did this year.

It's ok i guess, think i can do better though.

We'll see how the next one turns out :) x

Home

I'm back at the place of reality.

It's great to see my family, you don't realise how much they actually mean to you when you until you haven't seen them for a while.

I also love seeing the friends back here.

Ben, the littlest brother seems especially happy to see me :D which i am chuffed to its about, we're going to do something this weekend, but we're not sure what yet.. could be a cinema trip or just a PS3 tournament, either way it will be time well spent :

Ok so i have literally had to bribe my brother, physically drag him to his room and bribe him again with another chocolate bar offering to come with me to the supermarket... that feeling of love has gone.

Moving on, i plan on entering Vogues young writers thingy! As you can see from this small paragraph chockablock of grammatical and spelling errors i am clearly a very strong candidate.

Here are a couple of paintings i have finished!

I'll try and take a better picture of them some other time but at the moment my camera is at my boyfriends because i was infact showing off my painting too him via my camera after uploading them on here and now i havnt seen my camera for nearly a month dammit!

I took no photos of london because of this!!

Today me and the man have been invited to a crazy swiss ladies birthday dinner! She goes by the name of Lydia Dietrich and she is amazing and you can't turn down her invitation to a dinner :) infact you can't turn down an offer to come round their house!!

Here is a picture of something else because i have little to say:

This is in Amsterdam, i walked past it every day i lived in my favourite youth hostel (flying pig).

i loved this tree, it always made me smile, it was sucha beautiful shape and this day was particularly harsh in coldness and brightness: a perfect day to take out the camera.

long live the Dam, the place where things make sense, if only momentarily.

Could someone freeze time for me, my mind is so skatty and it's decision time. Student loan deadlines are coming forward... errrrrrrrrrr :(

lots of love to my family, they are wonderful and supportive and deserved a much more helpful and capable daughter/sister than this one.

xxx