Halloween!

I made a skirt for haloween because i have LOADS of spare fabric lying around and i needed to use it up somehow and i a uber chuffed with my skirt now though it isn't all sewn together because i have misplaced my needles but its pinned and this is what it essentially will loook like once i find my needles again! :D I am going to look like the sluttiest thing going but oh well i love that i succeeded in making it nontheless.

It's quite short and the corset if i bend too far to one side gives me uber hip flab but i'll sort that out with some clever layering under the corset :D

Also, I had enough material to make fancy head

thing! what I'm actually trying to be is the corpse bride, though white face make up will be essential, I have texted Malone to see if he still has some left over if not i have LOTS of white eyeshadow that will have to do haha :) and if that fails i'll have to turn to acrylic paint...

that could go wrong.

The corset was from a charity shop, the jewellery is all stuff from Primark i bought when i was little and into the whole Primark buzz.

Heavy black eyes will be going with this outfit as well as some ripped fishnets held together with thick thread and spair bits of fabric i'll tie in bows ;)

I love fabric! I love clothes! I love Halloween! The end. xx

First... date

I'm not really a "date person", the whole awkward sitting and not knowing if the person will think you're a complete wierdo if you order the lasagne or something, but this one was really fun!
Met him on the Thursday at Empire at a night called "Ape" and we danced to I just can't wait to be King by The Lion King (Disney) as well as defending my giant inflatable banana called Barnie who i had put a monkey mask on.

Anyway! The actual date consisted of me driving because his car was a bit battered after someone drove into the side of his car taking out a nice chunk of it. I drove to his with him on loudspeaker speaking from my dashboard directing me. He got in the car, we drove to Osmotherly and found a space to park.
My parking was appalling and i tried twice to parralell park straight and the first time i was at such a bad angle that when he tried to open his door he scraped it all along the pavement (don't tell me mum that, it's her car) so eventually he actually parked my car for me :D

We ate at the Gold Lion and we hadn't booked a table but they let us have one as long as we left before half eight which we thought was a fair enough deal as that gave us almost two hours.

We both ordered tap water then confided that we both actually really liked tap water and weren't trying to save money, the lady then gave us our tap water and made us feel really cheap anyway by saying "and here's your jug of... tap water", it was good water.

He knocked his glass too so he spilt it x) it was hlarious.

We kept talking instead of reading and eventually i got a lasagne (yummy!) and he got a chargrilled pousin which is like a mini whole chicken. (He pronounced it like person though so he actually ordered a chargrilled person but they gave him a chicken anyway which he ate all of it, he later thanked them for the yummy person :) lol)

He also managed to drop this massive peice of lettuce on himself too, i was extremely happy about that.

After having filled our bellies we had both already agreed we would go see the light show at Roseberry Topping which was called Odens Glow, they had put up huge spotlights and mini lights all over the hill and there was a festival a little further down too.

On the way he was directing and there was a T junctgion coming up and i was going about 60 because that was the road and it was wet and dark and raining and he was like " there's a junction coming up!" so i literally slammed on the brakes as hard as i could and we stopped exacly on the line to take the junction with a really nice looking brick wall infront of us, we turned left.

Parked up in Great Ayton, California something, knowing that tickits were sold out and that to get in it would be a mission as there were real police (as apposed to those fake ones) guarding it.
We walked up the opposite side of roseberry topping and around past a bike quarry and further up.
Though before we departed the path of norms we bumped into some people he knew... his parents.

Anywho as we walked up we came across some cool lights! They were like squidgy airfilled lights that went on and off so we decided to hug it because it wasnt on and it felt like a bouncy castle but then as we looked at the light through the seethrough pastic it turned on and practically blinded us with its purpleness! Darned thing :)
It was then that we saw a lot of torch lights and decided we ought to get off the main path so we moved further up the hill and hid behind a tree just as two guards walked past shining the torches like up towards our tree and around. When they walked further up we went up to the next tree and then carried on walking further up the hill (we felt so proud of ourselves).

We eventually reached a clearing where we could see the festival directly below us and the rock part of roseberry topping right up infront of us, it was so awesome. We were probably closer than anyone had ever been watching it and we hadn't paid for some ponsy tickit, though then the spotlight went to point down the hill and like practically lit us up and blinded us again. We decided to head towards the festival.

So we walked down some really slippy stairs where i nearly died because i slipped of one of the steps but he managed to like stop me from taking on the whole lot of them :) I was happy i didn't die.

We then recognized the glowing bouncy castles and thought we best get back off the path and make our way down preparing to jump behind a tree if need be, which definitly was needed!
This guard waltzed up practically two trees away from us and plonked himself down on the gate that was the only one down to the festival. we decided we had done really well to get so far though and realised we had to play the waiting game, so we must have waited for at least ten minutes for the guard to shift his ass.

He evntually did but headed straight for our tree! But as he walked round it one way we shuffled round and then pegged it to the gate, went through and (i fell over onto my right knee but he got me up and dragged me) out of view. The guard then went back to the gate and had a good view of the long road we needed to go down so we stood for a little bit but then he turned his back to the road so we ran to the side of a path where a conveniantly placed trailer blocked us from view as we walked up the path.

A guard then was walking down the path towards us and there was literally nothing we could do, he had probably already seen our silhouettes and the bushes were too thick to run through and there were no trees hanging around anymore so we simply walked past and exchanged a casual
"evening". Mwaha we blagged it, he probably assumed the guy at the gate had let us through x)

We got into the festival, but it had finished.
I went to the loo in a pubs baby changing bit because to get to the ladies loos i would have had to walk through the pub and i wasn't feeling that confident, though i was still buzzing :)
We walked down back from the pub and passed like ALL the guards who all stared at us and it was so obvious they knew we had snuck in but the didn't say anything and it was the best moment ever in the sense of it was our victory and their failure.

We walked down a really dark road back and he praised some other guys car and when that car drove past us it beeped and i waved :)

We talked alot and were totally comfortable with each other for the entire evening.
I drove him home for about 22:45 and i got to look at his car and it was literally like someone had got a giant icecream scoop and taken off the back left corner of the car.

I drove home, so happy and my parents were like... what have you been taking because my eyes were wide open and i was just really buzzing :)
Yay, we decided we were expert infiltrators but and that we should see each other again and that for a girl i wasn't that bad a driver.
The end. x

Painting finished!

Well it's fair to say i am very much the happy bea :)

I'm not too sure why... something bad will happen soon.

I love my best friend because she sends my emails and makes me smile and she's the only one reading this :D

I fiished a painting properly and then i fell over and almost put my knee through it, bad times but i laughed at myself for longer than was sane.

Here is a photo of it without flash but with atrificial light from my above-left. It's got the knee dent in the top right corner of it but it's painted black so you can't really see it through this photo.

And LOOK at my fantastically smooth white wall that i painted all by myself :D the rest of my room remains stripes of blue mind that really needs to be redone or painted over as it's about 4 years old now.

And HERE you can see the knee dent (top right), you also have an insight into the tidy corber i work in :

So yes this is my fiished painting and i already have an idea for my next one, as i did't pick what to paint here, my mum wanted soething suitable for the lounge so i gave her a selection of nice things and she discarded them all and asked for a painting of a flower she grew in the garden all by herself.

Fair to say i took my artistic license and turned the baby pink bloom into an exxaggerated shadows with no fresh grass but gothic darkness BECAUSE I CAN.

So there we have it :)

I nearly fainted at work today! I havnt been eating very well, not in the sense of i haven't been eating a lot because i have, I have been eating a lot of junk food. My sugar levels are so screwed. I used to eat roughly five chocolate bars a day and that gave me huge sugar highs and i loved it and got a little bit addicted but they would also give me sugar lows. Fourish years of that kind of diet played havoc, made my heart go a bit divvy, made my sugar lows even more extreme and lead to me passing out or at least feeling extremely down.

I've been quite good since i finished college but now i seem to be getting back into it but my bodys reacted quicker and it really isn't good. To recover i had to sit down and down a can of coke whilst shoving the chocolates you get with coffees down my throat - it helps in the short run and when i get home i have to fill up on carbs which help my body maintain some sort of balance,

PHWOAR :) i got to go home early as well because of my bad sugar levels so I'm now off to the library, laters.

xxxx

Blip

I get blips.
I doubt anyone else calls them that.
Every now and then i feel as though I'm verging on depression, I've never really confided.
I become more inside myself, I'm very good at making excuses to not go out and if i do go out i distract myself with other thoughts when I'm in company so as to keep a smile on my face.
I don't like the question " how are you" because i don't like lieing but "tired" is my usual reply, it's not a lie but it doesn't portray anything.
The reason i don't like to tell anyone or ask for help is because i don't think anyone can help, its in my head and next week or even tomorrow i could be back to being the happiest person i know.
The longest it has gone on for was just less than three months and that was over may/june/july 2009.
Music becomes extremely important to me in this time and so does keeping myself busy and getting to bed on time as well as (wierdly) drinking a lot of water.
I don't know if this is medical or just some wierd mood swing thing people go through naturally, wow my mood swings.... thats a whole different story, but it's easier to chear me up (short term) than to put me down.
When i get back to my happy self, I'll read this and think it's the biggest load of bull. I know i will, it was like that when i used to keep a diary.
I reckon i have two people in me, ones a depressed psyco and one is me and occasionally, a blip happens and the psycho tries to take over.
Ahh what a wierdo,
enjoy your day.
Ped. x