17

17 days left till I'm homeward bound.
I've adjusted into their way of life and found myself some healthy herbal tea.
I have also been to Oslo to visit my grandparents which was actually really great.
They are very easy to be around and they were very considerate of me and Bestefar (,grandad) did everything for me! I didn't put a single plate to the side!!
He was also very good at passing on his wisdom about Oslo, music and art.
Bestemor also told me many things including those topics above and I am very glad I now know what they told me! One topic about a 93 year old German lady who talks very quickly and has only recently discovered her love of art and mainly using watercolours mixed with montages she makes which are mostly quite politically based!

Anyway, I really am now comfortable where I am and I feel much better about myself and I have had a bit of a mental journey if anything.
I've learnt to speak up more about what is on my mind.
To really think about what I'm worrying about and whether it actually matters.
To give more time to my family, who I am so happy to be a part of.
Go for it with ideas and not be so shy about them, they usually turn out to be not so stupid or at least can easily become less silly with some outside input.
I am still quite shy about showing my art, especially in the rough stages but i am getting better and i think art college will help me with that.
To ask for help.
To say when something is wrong
That I have such a good future ahead and have the best person imaginable to share it with.

Anyway, the bottom is a picture of part of one of the berry fields from my bedroom window.

Argh! And i killed a caterpillar today!! :( :( It was really big aswell, twice aslong as my middle finger! I squashed it with the peace sign as I was grabbing one of the twigs to get a better angle into the berries and then this sort of soft thing squished imbetween my fingers and then flopped off ... i thought it was a rogue peice of fabric curled up at first .. but it wasn't *sigh* it didn't move again .. i kept going back to check and i feel so bad ... and then a spider jumped onto me so i felt better now that nature had had its revenge. twudda been a real big butterfly though... pale green with thin yellow lines that were similar to lines that go up a tree trunk with occassional small circles made with the lines. poor guy.


Looking forward to tomorrow.


The lighter green isn't the plant the jagged green on the left are the blackcurrent plants that are ready to be picked :)

Art times in Norvege.

Originally all my sketches had been pretty dark because i was pretty miserable and not really enjoying it fully and feeling pretty used. But! This weekend I just fucked off and did my own thing and rode around and down and up and down and up again a mountain and today I've done a finger painting which makes me feel really good when i look at it and i did whilst outside, really at ease and knowing i didnt have to do anything today at all except look after myself.. (despite the fact i have now cleaned the kitchen twice and done a fair few other chores but hey ho). Hopefully paint a proper composition by the end of next week. xx

awkward times

So today , because there is practically no work for them to give me I was sent for a walk with my bosses brother. I was quite looking forward to finally being shown some paths and where i could take my bike and things apart from... it wasn't a walk, there wasn't a path. It was a scramble to the top AND to top things off he wouldnt lead on most of the steap bits... he asked ME to lead!! I said I have no idea where we are going and have never been before and there is no path... he said we are going to the top. And when I turned around he was being a complete pervert :( and I did not enjoy this. He was also very slow and quite chubby so I had to keep stopping and waiting for him and on the flatter parts he would lead (slowly) and always manage to whack loads of branches in my face which were so easily avoidable!

Anyway, after a few hours we had lunch and then I said I'd like to go back incase there's any work to be done back at home. And he was sooo slow at walkig down hill, i tried to walk at the same pace as him but it literally hurt and was really boring so i just sped up and walked slow for myself and still had to stop loads of times for him. Anyway, got back and there is now a cow in one of our fields but no-one cares and I can't do anything about it on my own and I dont even know who owns the cows!!

At dinner we were talking about a Muslim friend of SaYings who has gone to Sweden to study and she was commenting on the fact that she hadnt heard from him for a while and the brother made some terribly racist joke about maybe him joining the taliban or something!! And then he ridiculed me when I told him about an article I read about a lot of white British becoming Muslims because they agreed with the morals. and that all extremists from any religion have different mindsets and being a Muslim is just like being a Christian in the sense of having a religion and set of morals to follow!!!

Urghhh and he is a sexist because he was not impressed when me and Saying talked about how it was bad the women are classed as much lower citizens than the men in the Muslim countries and societies.
I DO NOT LIKE THIS MAN
Also! Before we embarked on this walk together he said to me .. we will be needing some food for this and I though ooo ok I'll make a sandwhich before I put everthing away from breakfast ... I did, then realised he wasn't making a sandwhich so I asked him what was he going to eat and he GAVE ME HIS LOAF OF BREAD TO MAKE HIS SANDWHICHES FOR HIM WITHOUT A PLEASE OR A THANK YOU and his exact words were " You can cut this bread"!!!! And I KNOW his english is very good because we have been having conversationss!!!! He treats SaYing like that aswell!! But i think she is used to it from her husband so she thinks it is normal!!!

Saying also treats me a little like her maid, I haven't had one single "Please" aimed at me from anyone at all. And when i say thank you to her for dinner or anything she just says "yes" like I'm offending her for thanking her!
Am i!?!?!?!?!?!
Her English is better than the brothers too!!!
These people are not horrible people but they are not the most friendly and well minded. I do not feel at ease in their presence but now I have a bike I can leave but thing is, you're so exhausted after a day trying to figure out what you're meant to be doing and doing it that you just want to have a nice conversation or something easy... but it's not easy :( whinge page I'm afraid. love to yous x