Blip

I get blips.
I doubt anyone else calls them that.
Every now and then i feel as though I'm verging on depression, I've never really confided.
I become more inside myself, I'm very good at making excuses to not go out and if i do go out i distract myself with other thoughts when I'm in company so as to keep a smile on my face.
I don't like the question " how are you" because i don't like lieing but "tired" is my usual reply, it's not a lie but it doesn't portray anything.
The reason i don't like to tell anyone or ask for help is because i don't think anyone can help, its in my head and next week or even tomorrow i could be back to being the happiest person i know.
The longest it has gone on for was just less than three months and that was over may/june/july 2009.
Music becomes extremely important to me in this time and so does keeping myself busy and getting to bed on time as well as (wierdly) drinking a lot of water.
I don't know if this is medical or just some wierd mood swing thing people go through naturally, wow my mood swings.... thats a whole different story, but it's easier to chear me up (short term) than to put me down.
When i get back to my happy self, I'll read this and think it's the biggest load of bull. I know i will, it was like that when i used to keep a diary.
I reckon i have two people in me, ones a depressed psyco and one is me and occasionally, a blip happens and the psycho tries to take over.
Ahh what a wierdo,
enjoy your day.
Ped. x